Q: How much will my divorce cost? A: In Connecticut, divorce is technically called "Dissolution of Marriage". The filing fee to the court is $225 and service on your spouse by a State Marshal will usually run between $50 to $100. Legal fees for the attorney are billed at an hourly rate. Cases involving child custody and division of real property tend to take longer, so they tend to cost more. The typical initial fee retainer for a new divorce in our office ranges between $1,500 and $3,000 depending on the complexity of the case. The initial retainer is a deposit paid to cover initial costs and legal fees. If the retainer is exhausted before the case is over, the attorney will ask for an additional retainer payment or simply invoice the fees in excess of the initial retainer. Payment plans are usually available when fees exceed the initial retainer. Beware of lawyers asking for very low retainers, or very high retainers. This is usually a sign something is wrong. Don't be afraid to shop around. Good lawyers don't resent careful clients. Q: How long will my divorce take? A: A divorce can take anywhere from four months up to a year or more, depending on the factors in your case. It takes about a month for papers to be drafted, filed and served, and for the time to expire for your spouse to respond to those papers (the return date). After the return date you must wait a minimum of three months before you can go to final judgment, even if you have an agreement. Cases involving more complicated custody and property issues usually take longer than four months because of the need to gather additional information and engage in extended negotiations, hearings or trial. Cases that go to trial can take a year or more. Q: How can I save money on my divorce? A: Like many other things in life, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Trying to represent yourself, or hiring the cheapest lawyer you can find, usually winds up costing you far more than retaining a good lawyer from the start. But it is also true that the most expensive lawyers do not necessarily get you the best settlement or judgement. Choose your lawyer using good common sense. Your lawyer should be good at answering your questions, demonstrate a solid understanding of the issues in your case, and have solid experience. A good lawyer will not make a show of how tough they are by bragging how hard they will be on your spouse, nor will a good lawyer meekly avoid confrontation or hearings. A good lawyer should demonstrate knowledge, experience, poise and confidence. Shop for a lawyer the same way you would any other expensive service - do your research and trust your instincts. Once you find the right lawyer, be a good client. Pay attention and use the lawyer’s time carefully. Remember that your lawyer gets paid at the same hourly rate for phone calls as for court. Smart clients take notes, keep a diary, follow instructions, prepare and bundle their questions ahead of time, use email to keep a written record of questions and advice to avoid repeating themselves, and generally avoid using their attorney to vent anxiety or deal with ongoing emotional issues that may be better addressed through therapy and counseling. It’s your nickel, so keep to the point. Q: Why do I need a lawyer to represent me in my divorce? A: Everyone should seriously consider retaining legal counsel for their divorce. Divorce is like a long and winding path up a steep mountain that you must traverse with bad visibility, no experience and no expertise. Without a proper guide to tell you where to step, when to be still and to hold you back from walking off the edge, you are likely to get badly hurt. The statutes and rules regarding drafting, service and filing of papers are complicated. Clerks at court cannot give legal advice. Motions and objections are heard on Short Calendar dates. Proper procedures for marking and reclaiming motions, working with Family Services, scheduling and conducting hearings, pretrials and so forth are not easy to learn. It is possible to get through a divorce without a lawyer, but in the end many people who try have to give up part way through and start over with a lawyer, and then pay more because of mistakes that were made. When critical issues of child custody, asset division and alimony are in issue you should have an experienced attorney to advise and represent you. Q: My spouse threatened to go to court, get sole custody of the kids and kick me out of the house. Can my spouse really do that to me? A: No, usually these types of threats are just bullying and bluffing. Sole custody is only appropriate when a parent is seriously unfit due to substantiated abuse and/or neglect, and even then a parent has options to work with the court to retain or regain parental rights. The best reason for you to get into court sooner rather than later is to stop the threats and nonsense, bring order and process to the chaos, and restore some level of peace in the family home. An unruly spouse who likes making threats will be dealt with appropriately by the lawyer. The court is going to work hard to do what is fair and best for your children. Your attorney will make sure the court knows what is right and fair in your case from your point of view. Don’t listen to your spouse regarding legal issues. They are usually wrong and/or just trying to intimidate you. The best way to deal with a bully is to call their bluff and stand your ground, with the right attorney at your side. Q: I am seeking a divorce because my spouse was abusive and/or had an affair. Does this make a difference? A: Yes, it does but maybe not as much as some people think. When your spouse is abusive and/or unfaithful and this causes the breakdown of your marriage, the court can take this into consideration when dividing your debts, property or when determining who pays alimony. Such fault issues can be important, even in a “no fault” divorce. In high asset/income cases these issues can be critical to the outcome because so much more is at stake. In most cases involving normal income and asset levels these issues can still drive the settlement or judgment numbers up or down by as much as 10%, depending on how well the attorney performs. You need an attorney who understands how to use these issues to your advantage in negotiations and before a judge. If you are defending these issues, you need an attorney who knows how to minimize and negate the damage that you will otherwise suffer at settlement conferences and in court. The court can enter a restraining order as part of a divorce to help protect a victim of abuse. If you are the spouse who has made such mistakes, you need to make sure you are properly defended so events are portrayed fairly, and not successfully exaggerated for effect by the other attorney. Q: My spouse and I get along quite well even though we both know our marriage is over. Should we try mediation or collaborative divorce instead of traditional divorce? A: Mediation and collaborative divorce can provide lower conflict paths to achieving dissolution of your marriage, but they do not necessarily save you money. A competent attorney will screen you to make sure you are a good candidate before agreeing to provide these services. Good candidates have good communication with their spouse and well defined issues and goals. Generally, couples who are arguing and fighting should not use mediation. People who have emotional issues that interfere with their ability to communicate openly and honestly should not use mediation. Collaborative divorce may be an option, but it is relatively expensive and takes a real commitment to communication and compromise. These can be great options for people who have low conflict relationships and can afford them. Talk to the attorney to see if your specific case qualifies for these alternative methods. Q: My spouse is abusive. Can I make my spouse move out of the family home while my divorce is pending? A: Yes, the court has the authority to order either spouse to move out of the family home temporarily while the divorce is pending, or permanently as part of final judgment. To force a spouse to move out while the divorce is pending the court must find that there has been actual violence or a threat of violence in the family home, or that there is such conflict in the home that such an order is necessary to protect the welfare of the children in the home. Without such a compelling reason, the court does not have the authority to make either spouse move out prior to judgment. As with most issues in divorce, the court will also enter orders or exclusive possession when both parties are in agreement. Q: Drugs and/or alcohol have been an issue in our marriage. Does this effect my divorce? A: On issues relating to children, substance abuse relates directly to the fitness of the parent. Substance abuse can also be taken into account when dividing debts or property and determining alimony. The court does not expect people to be blameless saints, as many otherwise good people have had some experience with alcohol or drugs. The court is first interested in the best interests of the children, and then in fairness to the parties. The family court does not generally attempt to reform or punish people with substance abuse issues unless it is part of helping the children in the family. In extreme cases the court can enter orders requiring substance abuse evaluation and treatment, typically as may relate to child custody and visitation. Q: How does the court determine child custody and child support? A: The court will enter orders that are determined to be in the best interests of the children. Usually this is by agreement. Typically the parents will agree to joint legal custody with one parent having primary residential custody. Child support is based on the net incomes of the parents and the number of children in the family. Child support guidelines set the weekly payment amount. The attorney can accurately estimate your child support payment based on the parents’ incomes. Q: My name is not on the deed to the house. Does this effect my rights in the divorce? A: Legal title to property does not necessarily control the court's authority to equitably divide such property. The court will try to fairly divide all such property in the marital estate. Whether all or part of the house, and the other major assets, are properly characterized as marital property has a lot to do with how well the attorney presents the issues, laws, arguments and conclusions before opposing counsel and the court. Most settlement conferences, trials and hearings are lost or won before they even start. Thorough preparation and skillful execution are the product of ability and experience. Your lawyer should have a good deal of both. Q: My lawyer never returns my calls and generally ignores me. Should I change lawyers? A: Unless you are at the very end of the case and it would not effect the outcome, it is best to obtain a new attorney if you are being treated like you don't matter. At least get a second opinion regarding what you are being told. Don't blindly do what your lawyer tells you even when your instincts tell you it's wrong. Questions should be welcomed by your attorney, not met with impatience or negative attitude. The court will almost always give you more time if needed to switch lawyers after the start of the case. But don't wait until the eve of trial to make such a change. There must be a solid foundation of trust and good communication for your lawyer to properly represent you. If you don't have that type of relationship with your lawyer, don't be shy about changing attorneys. It is what is best for you that matters. Q: What happens while the case is pending? How does this all work? A: Generally a divorce consists of two sets of orders, temporary and final. First are the temporary (pendente lite) orders which are crafted to get the family through the coming months. These orders can deal with all the important immediate issues such as who lives in the family home, child custody, child support, alimony and payment of household expenses. When there is no agreement, a hearing is held to determine temporary orders. After these temporary orders are in place the attorney starts working toward the final orders, also known as the judgment. The attorney prepares for judgment by gathering all relevant information, working with client and experts, and by negotiating with the other attorney to define and address all the issues to reach decisions by agreement or trial. About four months out the case will typically be ready for a first attempt at final settlement. This can be attempted with the assistance of court mediation (Family Masters) or by the parties and their attorneys in one or more settlement meetings (four-way conferences). Cases that don’t settle at that stage will then go to a pretrial where a judge will usually try to help the attorneys and parties in the case reach a settlement. If that fails, then the case is set down for trial. Depositions and other meetings and hearings can also be held throughout, depending on the needs of the case. The attorney will provide you with a specific evaluation of what is likely to be involved in your particular case during the initial consultation. Q: What is Legal Separation and should I consider it instead of Divorce? A: If you need to have the court address financial, custody or other issues but you have reasons for not wanting to legally dissolve your marriage then Legal Separation is an option. Legal Separation works just like a divorce, right up to the end. The only difference is that you may not deal with every issue (like sale of the family home) and the marriage is not dissolved in the end. Legal Separation is used by people who need to stay married but also need to separate themselves financially and otherwise establish court orders to protect themselves and/or their children. Q: I am not married. How do I get the court to enter orders of custody, child support and visitation? A: A custody petition can be filed in the same manner as a divorce. The court will address child related issues just as they would in a divorce, without addressing issues of property, alimony or other matters not directly related to the children. The parents will have the opportunity to work with their attorneys and Family Services on one or more dates in an attempt to reach a mutually acceptable agreement. When that effort fails the matter goes to a hearing before a judge. The court may appoint an attorney to independently represent the children. For young children this will be a Guardian Ad Litem (GAL) and for older children an Attorney for the Minor Children (AMC). That attorney looks into the case and reports to the court on what the children want and/or what is best for them with regard to custody related issues. The GAL or AMC is paid by the parents, usually in proportion to their relative incomes. Q: I have been served with court papers for a custody and/or child support case. What should I do? A: If you can arrange to get a lawyer to review your case in the very beginning that is always the best way to protect your rights. You should always ask the court for a paternity test even if you think you actually are the father of the child. Be careful to prepare a proper financial affidavit and come to court ready to testify as to your current and past income and your employment status. When in doubt, always ask for a continuance if you need time to obtain a lawyer. The court will only appoint a lawyer for you in a child support case if you are at risk of incaceration for contempt.
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